Avoidance can provide relief in the moment, but it often creates greater stress over time. That was the central theme of WagerWire’s latest mental health discussion, led by WagerWire CXO Travis Geiger and nurse practitioner Morgan Geiger.
Inspired by the quote, “The joy you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding,” the conversation explored why people often resist the very actions that could improve their relationships, health, confidence and recovery.
The brain naturally attempts to conserve energy and avoid perceived threats. Difficult conversations, exercise, financial responsibilities and emotional healing all involve some level of discomfort or uncertainty. Avoiding them creates immediate relief, which teaches the brain to repeat that response.
The underlying problem, however, remains unresolved.
This cycle is especially relevant to addiction. Addictive behaviors are commonly associated with seeking pleasure, but they can also represent an attempt to escape anxiety, boredom, loneliness or another uncomfortable emotion. Gambling, substance use and other compulsive behaviors may temporarily quiet that distress without addressing its source.
Recovery therefore requires more than simply avoiding the addictive behavior. It involves learning how to experience discomfort without immediately trying to escape it.
One approach discussed during the Space was dialectical behavior therapy, commonly known as DBT. Its skills can help people respond to difficult emotions more effectively.
“Opposite action,” for example, encourages someone to act against an emotional impulse when that impulse is harmful. A person experiencing depression may want to remain in bed and withdraw from others. The opposite action could be getting up, completing an activity or contacting a friend. Someone feeling anxious may want to cancel plans, while the opposite action would involve attending despite the discomfort.
The discussion also addressed radical acceptance. Accepting a painful reality does not mean approving of it. It means acknowledging facts that cannot be changed and redirecting energy toward what can happen next. Constantly replaying past mistakes may feel productive, but it can become another form of avoidance when it replaces meaningful action.
Another important DBT principle is “building mastery,” or consistently completing productive and challenging activities. Exercise, reading, learning a skill and managing household responsibilities can gradually strengthen self-confidence. That confidence comes from repeated evidence that a person can handle challenges, not positive thinking alone.
The same idea applies to motivation. People often wait until they feel motivated before acting, but action itself can create motivation. Even a small step can provide enough momentum to make the next one easier.
These lessons are particularly important when considering relapse. Relapse is not always one isolated event. It can begin much earlier through the loss of healthy routines, reduced accountability, social withdrawal and avoidance of difficult emotions. Sustainable recovery depends not only on abstaining from a behavior, but also on consistently practicing habits that support physical, psychological and social health.
The Space concluded with a simple challenge: Identify one responsibility or uncomfortable task you have been postponing, then spend the next month moving toward it.
The work does not need to happen all at once. The first step is simply choosing engagement over avoidance.
If you or someone you know is struggling with gambling or another addiction, confidential help is available through Birches Health at 833-483-3838, help@bircheshealth.com or bircheshealth.com/wagerwire.
If you missed the space, you can listen here on Spotify:
